it is difficult to keep remembering....that you exist...you become an eye, an ear, a summation of senses on either side of a hood..
and you forget to feel how you feel...the realisation somehow seeps away from sensation...things happen and it does not matter...they do not and that does not matter either...
i do not know how it happened to me..how my life became a story...just another of so many stories i write...about my life...about how i feel...
it's difficult to know actually!
and it is no surprise that i fail to realise just when i trnsmutate from one charecter in a story...to other in another one..sometime maskes and makeup cling...sometimes i do not need then coz just changing color of my skin is sufficient...
it is meaningles to change from one anonymity to another... sometimes i have to just twist my lips a little...and i become another person...i am my jeanie then....why this seems so meaningless then?
what makes me sad when in the middle of the play i remember that i cannot fly...i cannot dissapear coz im not a jeanie in this story?.....
do i like my characters? do i know them?....or is it a pretence...of knowing it all...understanding the incomprehensible....?
i do not know...they say that ignorance is a bliss...and i do not want to know sometimes...coz with wings i can fly...it makes sense if i ignore the incongruities of my stories...that they never end....
how do i fell then between the charecters?...i do not know coz i am busy weaving new ones then...to fill in my emptiness
did god create us...worthless beings just like this?...to run away from senses...not to realise?...
i do not know coz i am on to a new story...another part of me...another part that will not fit, never, to make the complete me...its corners will not be machined...they will remain...sharp edges..incongruous ...they remind me of myself...when i hurt my fingers on one of them, i know that they are part of me...that my quest is still unfinished...that there is a face besides the mask...i have never seen it, but i know its presence then....when i hurt myslf over me....

NIFFT its cold n its rainin here..jus;' like it did last year n year b4...it alway rains n its cold
but there's somethin's new..
made up of these three words i say to u....
well next time..
what makes u think that ur the chosen one? n what do u mean by that? who's there to choose?
u know that everything is absurd.. u regeret that ur ever born..right from buddha to sartre to me n to u...they're always in pain in agony..searching for a mirage called life.. n it escapes every one...
this world is a bad place..its ugly n its beautiful..u hate it n still u hold on to it with all ur might..
ur existance is farce n u know it ..n still that;s all u have..
i cant help being a mystic..like everyone ..a sage like everyone..n a scaoundrel like everyone..
its frightening n enchanting at the same time..
that's why u live..ur there to be part of this big cosmic drama..which is an accident...
why am i still alive? why am i writin all this?
coz in the end ..it doesn't even matter..

This is how VIVA exam of a ELECTRONIcs n
TELECOMMUNICATION
>engineering student of fourth semester of subject
ELECTRONIX-1 &
>2 went at a Mumbai University College :
>
>
>****************************************************
>
>Interviewer: Why is a thicker conductor necessary to
carry a
>current in A.C. as compared to D.C. ?
>Candidate: An AC current goes up and down (drawing a
sinusoid)
>and requires more space inside the wire, so the wire
has to be
>thicker.
>
>Interviewer: How will you tell if that wall outlet
carries AC or
>DC?
>Candidate: I will put my finger in. If it is pushed
away, it is
>AC. If it gets stuck, it was DC.
>
>Interviewer: How will you reverse direction of an
Induction
>motor?
>Candidate: I will remove the four bolts at the base,
turn the
>motor around, and put back the bolts.
>
>Interviewer: How do you start a synchronous motor?
>Candidate: Vrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (in rising
pitch)
>
>Interviewer: Stop! Stop!
>Candidate: rrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (in falling
pitch)
>
>Interviewer: How do you limit surge current within an
integrated
>circuit?
>Candidate: By using a miniature circuit breaker.
>
>External (to student) : "Why does a capacitor block
DC but allow
>AC To pass through ?
>Student: See, a capacitor is like this ---| |--- ,
OK. DC comes
>straight, like this ----------, and the capacitor
stops it. But
>AC,goes UP,DOWN,UP DOWN and jumps right over the
capacitor!"
>
>Examiner: "What is a step-up transformer?"
>Student: "A transformer that is put on top of
electric poles."
>
>Examiner (smiling): "And then what is a step-down
transformer?"
>Student (hesitantly): "Uh - A transformer that is put
in the
>basement or in a pit?"
>
>Examiner (pouncing): "Then what do you call a
transformer that
>is installed on the ground?"
>(Student knows he is caught - can't answer)
>Examiner (impatiently): "Well?"
>Student (triumphantly): "A stepless transformer,
sir!"